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March 25, 2016: POST-VERDICT

It is clear that she deliberately breached her oath to tell the truth. Her value as a reliable witness is diminished accordingly.”

– Judge Horkins

He said what?

I was never expecting a guilty verdict.  I knew the cases were not strong and that it would be a he said/she said.  I typically refer to that as the she said/she said, since the accused never said anything.  I reminded myself that I had just gone and shared my experience in the hopes of helping others, and that it was the crown who decided to press the two charges. I was just, as we used to say in girl guides, doing my duty.  

Magic charge

The public and media seem to forget it’s the crown who laid charges because I was still questioned on the two charges as though I had some kind of special power over the legal system to impose them upon him.  It was the police who informed me that my story had resulted in not one, but two charges of sexual assault against the Canadian star. I wish I had that kind of power.  Every victim of his abuse would have had charges laid against him.  A girl can dream.

Liar

So, here we are, propelled into the future from November 1, 2014 when my assaults were believed, to March 24, 2016 in court on verdict day, where I am being called a liar.  Not just a liar, but a manipulative LIAR!!!

Big Daddy

The biggest disappointment of all wasn’t the verdict of not guilty.  Not guilty doesn’t mean innocent.  We all knew the cases didn’t have much evidence, but the manner in which the judge read his decision left me and others aghast. That was the biggest disappointment.

I was not prepared for this.  How could this judge, who I have heard was impartial and not one to take sides, be so harsh?  He read the decision like a father scolding his daughters for lying.  He sounded like we had wasted his time and energy on our horrible little childish “lies” to get what we wanted.  I was offended and upset to say the least.  Livid might describe it more accurately.

A little respect please

Could he not have read the decision with a little more consideration and respect to the complainants?  Some will say it was fair.  Perhaps the ruling of not guilty could be considered fair given the substandard, antiquated approach of trying sexual assault cases in 2016.  Sure. I’ll give him that.  But Judge Horkins, in my opinion, took it too far. What little he said trying to sound positive, was too little too late. He was downright harsh and many were not expecting that.

He included in his ruling that not all sexual assault victims tell the truth. What the heck was that for? Naughty little liars are we?

This fair, impartial, unprejudiced judge seemed quite the opposite. Maybe he is harbouring hate for women from sisters who got him into trouble as a kid.  

What was that again?

Our memory had been on trial as much as anything.  Despite the cries for expert witnesses on memory, trauma, and sex assault, none of that happened because it was said the judge didn’t need that type of clarification.  Apparently he forgot he knew these things.  When reading his decision he called me ODD for behaving the way I did post-assault.   He also had absolutely no clue as to why I would not remember the complete story in full detail right from the start.  His thoughts regarding adding additional information to the memory was just twisting and adjusting the truth.  I must be a big, fat liar right?

So here, livid with no recourse.  The judge has ruled.  Liars, all three of us.  Burn at the stake, tomorrow at noon in the town square.

Instead, I opted for the We Believe Survivors rally.  That was our metaphoric burning of the judge at the stake instead.

3 Comments

  1. Reply

    thera

    OMG to all of you there and here , we are legion, the statistics are horrendous, my heart goes to all of you as you go on life with these tremendous scars, as I do with mine, I hold your hand that asshole and so many more, will live looking behind his back!

  2. Reply

    MaryMeg

    Thank you so very much for putting yourself in the firing line for everyone out there who has had to deal with assaults and abuse. No one should have to go through what you did (not once, but twice) but I know there are so many of us who are grateful. This has provoked huge outrage, and many discussions about how broken our system is. We have the three of you to thank for this, and for any changes that come as as result.

    1. Reply

      LC - Coming Forward

      Thank you Mary Meg!!!

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